I love ceviche. My heartburn does not love me eating ceviche, but just like my I ignore my liver after drinking on holiday weekends, regular weekends, vacations, bad days at work, and good days at work, I ignore my heartburn and still eat ceviche. (I mean, that’s what Zantac is for). I can’t quit the deliciousness and I’m weak!
But when it comes to ceviche, sometimes I don’t feel like buying shrimp. Maybe because I’m lazy. Maybe because I’m saving my money for drinking. Whatever the reason is, mine or yours, you can still get your ceviche fix using cauliflower. YOU’RE WELCOME VEGETARIANS. And maybe vegans. I honestly don’t know all the rules to veganism but I do know the vegan life didn’t choose me.
Here’s the deal – I wanted to keep this recipe simple. I saw some recipes for cauliflower ceviche where it called to cook the cauliflower, or to marinate this or that before finally putting together all the fixin’s, but you know what? That’s not what we’re doing here. We’re diving in. In that ‘put it all together and skip all the unnecessary steps’ kinda way.
Now there is some slicing and dicing that you’ll need to do, so you’re not totally off the hook, but it’s really not that difficult. Slice. Dice. Throw it together. Marinate. That’s it.
If there is one part of this recipe I won’t let you compromise on it’s this: you have let this dish marinate for a bit. It’s going to be tough because you’re going to WANT this cauliflower ceviche STAT. But you gotta wait. You need to let all that crispy cauliflower (that you didn’t have to cook) soak up all the flavor and soften just a bit. Trust me on this one.
So now you’ve practiced your patience and you have this bowl of cauliflower ceviche that is perfectly marinated and ready to eat. What do you eat it with?
I could pretend that you can pair this delicious cauliflower ceviche with some nice crisp vegetables or <insert boring dipping vessel here>, but let’s just skip all that nonsense. Pair this with tortilla chips. Unless you’re allergic to tortilla chips – you guys get a free pass. Otherwise, you gotta go with the chips. The salt and crunch are perfect for ceviche. There’s a reason that this dish is typically served with chippies when you’re out to eat, so let’s not mess with something that isn’t broke. Deal? Deal.
So that’s it. That’s the dish. If you’ve made it this far, thank you! If you’re one of those people who complains about having to scroll for 5 seconds to get to your free recipe, thank you for your selfless sacrifice, as I know this has been a tough part of your day. But to all of you, complainers and non-complainers alike – enjoy!
Delicious, easy, and though you could share it you won't want to.
- 1 head cauliflower diced
- 1 cup cilantro roughly chopped
- 2 pints cherry tomatoes quartered
- 1 jalapeno pepper minced
- 1 red onion minced
- lime juice
- salt and pepper
Mix all the ingredients except the lime juice, salt and pepper together in a large bowl.
Salt and pepper to your preferred taste (you may want to do this in stages as you can keep adding to your preference).
Generously add the lime juice and stir it into the mix.
Cover and marinate for at least two hours, allowing the flavors to soak in and the cauliflower to soften slightly from the juices. Enjoy!